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COME OUT

Category: Falling Down Funny BookMark HawkinsSeizuresUncategorized Comments: 3 comments

I had a seizure around some people who don’t know me very well.  Naturally, they were incredibly uncomfortable around me for the next several days; trying to say things that were supportive or interesting or whatever.

A young woman walked up to me.  She was obviously nervous.  “So,” she said, “how was your seizure?”  The minute the words sunk into her head, and before I had a chance to say anything, she turned and walked away.

People have no idea how to deal with us.  Do you know whose fault that is?  Ours.  It has been easier for us to live in secret for as long as possible rather than let people know about us.  As a result, people do not understand who and what we are.  Those people who say stupid things to us usually mean well...

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LOST

Category: Falling Down Funny BookMark HawkinsSeizuresUncategorized Comments: 3 comments

I started jogging recently.

I should say that I started jogging “again.”  Years ago I ran but I had to stop because I started having seizures when I ran.  I guess I forgot that because when I started to run this time I started to have seizures again.

There are so many things in my life that I have given up because of seizures.  Things from my life that I once enjoyed or used that are no longer a part of my life.  Things that I avoid because they are now and forever associated with a seizure.

I am a big fan of “The Simpsons” and “Futurama.”  I had a particularly bad seizure while watching an episode of Futurama.  There was a musical number during that episode.  I have heard the song several times since then.  It totally triggers a memory of that seizure...

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FALSE ALARM

Category: Falling Down Funny BookMark HawkinsSeizuresUncategorized Comments: 3 comments

Every once in a while there is a moment when you think you “might” be having a seizure. But you are not.

I am not talking about the beginning of the seizure.  I am referring to that quick flash of panic that everyone has when you suddenly remember something:  You forgot to turn the oven off. You forgot to call your mother. It’s your wedding anniversary and you forgot to buy your wife a present.

There is a physical reaction where your body feels horrible all of a sudden.

For me, and many people have told me that they experience the same thing, the beginning of a seizure feels a lot like that sometimes. The difference, of course, is that there is no actual “memory” to go with it.  With a seizure, it is irrational...

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WHEN HAVING A SEIZURE LOCATION IS EVERYTHING or LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

Category: Falling Down Funny BookMark HawkinsSeizuresUncategorized Comments: One comment

If you are going to have a seizure, “where” you have it matters. It could mean the difference between a seizure that ruins your day and a seizure that allows you to move on and forget about it.

Of course, I don’t mean forget about it completely.  When I have a seizure, I always feel like shit for the rest of the day.  I have those moments where I think about how long it has been since the last seizure.  I think about whether or not I should go and see the neurologist.  But I don’t spend hours thinking about it — provided I had the seizure in the right place.

What’s “the right place” you ask? The answer is:  Alone.

If I have a seizure in my own bedroom or living room, I can pretty much move on with my day.  No one saw it and hopefully very little happened...

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I DO NOT LIKE BLOGS, SAM I AM

Category: blogging about bloggingFalling Down Funny BookMark HawkinsSeizures Comments: No comments

I never intended to write a blog.  I mean they are so narcissistic.  I don’t even like the word.  Sounds like an onomatopoeia for vomit:  I “blogged.”

But these days everybody is blogging about everything, and my dad always told me to write about things I know about, so here it is: A blog about seizures.

If you don’t actually have seizures, maybe you won’t find this blog particularly interesting. Or funny. You might even find it annoying.  I thought my book about seizures was kind of cool and my dad thought it was the most depressing thing he had ever read. And he writes books for a living.

I didn’t think it was depressing at all.  I guess seizures look kind of different from the outside.

I hope at least some of you will find this blog entertaining...

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